i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
