Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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