Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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