i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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