Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize