The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
