Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize