Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
