I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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