i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
