i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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