If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
honey bunches of taint.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So much Jack, so little girl.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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