i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
