let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
