I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
