9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My bed smells like the plague
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
