You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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