I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
