So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Non-Jews are for practice
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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