But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
