super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
