If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
