Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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