I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
