At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
