My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize