I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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