Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
