No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
