i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
