She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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