Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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