The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
