yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
