I don't think brook has ever known best
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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