please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
