I looked at my own cervix.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
