South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
