I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
