i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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