Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
