We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize