Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
