you guys were way drunker than both of me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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