You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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