Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
