My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
