We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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