for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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