i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
