Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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