Quick, to the slutcave!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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