I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
