your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
