If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
