I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
