the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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