Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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