i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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