im so drunk with asians
where?
always
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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