I think i peed on brittanys purse
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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